Dickin' Around In Space

Escape from Mos Shuuta
It begins!

When last we left our heroes…

Our intrepid band of misfits met up in a cantina of Mos Shuuta for various sundry reasons. There was Adria Montoya, the Bothan curiously interested in the movements of Imperial craft in the city. Juice Dookdroppa, the Imperial Army washout turned gun-for-hire, the droid FN-1K who had an obsession with all things biological, and Skooter Heetshooter the Chiss with a drink in hand and a knife in his pocket. After being pickpocketed in the bar, they chase the thieves to a slicer den and proceed to generally bust shit up and helping themselves to some credits along the way. Unknown to them is that they just robbed an operation of a local crime lord, Teemo the Hutt. Understandably pissed, he calls for his favorite tracker and bounty hunter Twerx.

Wanted now by Teemo and Imperial security, the group lays low. Unfortunately Skooter sticks out like a blue thumb and is picked up by security agents shortly after the raid for questioning. While looking for him, the group comes upon a reporter named Jeffren Fro from Correllia investigating a possible chem lab in town. Feeling particularly DEA-ish, they bust the joint up. After being spotted shooting the place up and sensing a good story, Jeffren decides to tag along with the group. Teemo is now super pissed, and tell Twerx to get here now and take these marks out.

Hearing that they have a price on their head, they decide the best defense is a good offense and plan to head off Twerx. After picking up a part needed they infiltrate the command station of Mos Shuuta and come across Skooter still under interrogation. They free him, and in the process of accessing Twerx’s ship logs Adria finds a lead on something she’s looking for. Dragging the drugged Chiss along, they manage to overwhelm Twerx and knock him unconscious and secure him in a cell on the ship. Juice decides to make a run for last minute supplies in town, but Imperial troops force the Krayt Fang to take off in a hasty exit before he returns, stranding him on the planet and looking for a way off. He comes across a possible ride off Mos Shuuta in town but they want a favor in return.

Adria, Skooter, FN-1K and Jeffren are now seriously wanted by Teemo and riding in the stolen ship of his favorite hunter, with said hunter still locked up onboard…

Debts To Pay

Juice Dookdroppa
Prata’ri Rackus
Bradrus “Slick” Sell

Having recently and separately pissed off notorious gangster Teemo the Hutt, both Juice Dookdroppa and Prata’ri Rackus find themselves back in the Mos Shuuta cantina and strike up a conversation. Meanwhile, fresh-faced young go-getter Bradrus “Slick” Sell, who has just arrived on the planet because it’s the only ticket he could afford, also heads to the cantina, realizing that since he has no money and knows absolutely no one, his plan to seek out the Rebel Alliance probably could’ve used a little more planning. But hey, at least he bought a blaster!

Anyway, Bradrus approaches the two spacers and introduces himself, only to be interrupted as they are approached by a droid. The droid introduces itself as C3-P9, an employee of Bargos the Hutt, and says his employer knows of their recent troubles, and may be willing to help them out if they can do him a favor. He tells them to meet up with Bargos at his mansion that evening, and then casually adds, “Oh, and your friend can come too”, as he gestures at Slick. Before the pair have time to explain that they don’t even really know each other, much less this loser, Slick eagerly accepts the offer, saying “We’ll do it!” and offering an overly excited thumbs up.

Juice and Prata’ri shrug, and Slick assures them he has skills that will come in handy, so they decide to let him come along. They arrive at Bargos’ palace and see some suspiciously shady Gamorreans standing across the street, giving the ole’ stinkeye to the Gamorrean guards at the gate. When they meet up with Genko, Bargos’ Toydarian (guh) majordomo, he acts all evasive, but Slick demonstrates his sweet, sweet talking prowess and charms the flying cootie into revealing that the angry Gamorreans are former employees who quit to look for better work, and are upset that the rest of their brethren didn’t come along (but come on, in this economy?).

So they’re brought in to meet Bargos, who explains that he just acquired an oridium mine on Gavos, and he needs a team to check out its operations and bring him his first cut of the profits, which he randomly assumes will be 100,000 credits. He doesn’t make much of an offer in terms of payment, but Juice and Rackus know there’s another Hutt looking for them if they stay on the planet, so they accept. Slick, however, employs that silver tongue of his to not only get Bargos to commit to paying them for their work, but also to offer them some discounted supplies, as well as the use of one of his ships, the Tiny Dancer. The group realizes that Slick might not be entirely worthless after all, and the three start to head out to get to their newly acquired ship, when suddenly they hear shouting at the front gate. Those disgruntled Gamorreans are attacking the palace!

Bargos quickly closes his chamber like a coward, and shouts through the door at the trio to protect him and his precious valuables. They leap (well, walk cautiously) into action, taking aim at the bad giant pig people, while taking care not to harm the not-so-bad giant pig people.
After blasting a couple of them, the rest squeal and run off. Genko thanks the group for protecting him and his master, then urges them to get to their ship, since fighting off a couple of ex-guards isn’t what they were hired for.

Juice, Rackus, and Slick climb aboard the Tiny Dancer, and Rackus pilots it to Gavos. Once they arrive at the mining facility’s landing pad, the ship’s scanners inform them that there are life signs somewhere beneath the surface. This is a mine, so that surprises no one. Oh, also Gavos has an incredibly toxic atmosphere that is so close to the system’s star that it creates tremendous gravity and heat. That part’s actually important. The only way this mining facility is able to exist is because of a system of eight “storm barrier generators” that revolve around it, slowing/redirecting the atmospheric winds so they don’t tear the place apart.

So the Tiny Dancer lands, and is met by…no one. The guys try to reach out via the ship’s comm system, and get no response. Already this is going phenomenally well. As the group exits the ship and heads inside the reception area, they notice blaster scorches on the interior of the nearest window. They also hear a loud message over the PA system indicating that one of the Storm Barrier Generators has been compromised and must be repaired. The reception office itself is a mess, with lights smashed and some dark liquid staining the carpet. That’s nothing compared to the facility’s “canteen” (cafeteria), though. That’s when our boys see 4 miner corpses sitting at a table, each appearing to have died from a close-range blaster shot. And the cook droid is still making pancakes, without a care in the world. Slick tries to talk to the droid, but realizes that it’s the droid equivalent of crazy, because it addresses him as “Vrrisk” then serves the table of dead men and asks how they like it. This is super creepy, so the guys move on. After searching through the miners’ quarters and finding no one, they finally get to the Chief’s Quarters and discover an inactive droid. Rackus notices that the droid is fitted with a restraining bolt, which he removes to reactivate it. The droid, 3D-4K, slowly powers back up. He doesn’t know what happened at the mine or why/how he got a restraining bolt attached, but talking to him the group is able to determine that he’s been out of commission for roughly two weeks. 3D-4K mentions that the last thing he remembers is that he was supposed to meet with another droid, EV-8D3, regarding the performance of the other droids in the facility. Prata’ri Rackus pockets the restraining bolt and the group keeps 3D-4K with them as they continue to explore.

They come across an office, and Rackus uses the computer to look at security footage, where they see that within the last 24 hours, a freighter landed at Landing Pad B, and its Sullustan pilot got off and met with an EV class droid before they both boarded the ship. After that, the group finds their way to a medical bay, where a medic droid appears to be just a oblivious as the cook droid was.

Finally they get to the cargo room, where they run into s small astromech droid that flips out when it sees them. They catch up to it and manage to calm it down, but all Rackus is able to understand from its beeps and whistles is that apparently there are some pirates in the mines. The group goes to check out Landing Pad B, and the droid rolls away quickly. The Sullustan’s freighter is still there, as is the Sullustan, except now he’s dead. The guys head back inside, moving through the cargo and loading area to the mine entrance, where they are met by EV-8D3, two PK worker droids, and six inactive battle droids.

EV-8D3 explains that the mine was hit by pirates, who killed everyone and have ventured into the mines. He says the droids were left alone because they weren’t a threat, which is also why the droids weren’t able to fight back in any way. When Slick asks why 3D-4K had a restraining bolt on him, EV-8D3 just says that it had been malfunctioning, so they decided to shut it down. The group decides to head into the mines to find these pirates, and Juice tells the droids to barricade the door with boxes so no one can escape. Slick, who’s been rather uneasy about these droids, finds this plan insane since they don’t actually know who or what is in the mine, and the two get into an argument. Ultimately Slick convinces Juice not to barricade the mine entrance behind them as they head inside.

Once they’re inside a mining car and on their way down, the group hears another warning message over the PA. A second Storm Barrier Generator has gone down and is in need of maintenance, so that’s great. The group stops within the mine when they see that a makeshift barricade has been made in front of the way station ahead. They send 3D-4K ahead to investigate, and he gets blasted to pieces almost immediately. The group shouts toward the gunner(s) that they mean no harm and are just trying to find out what happened in the mine. One of the men behind the barricade asks the group to identify themselves and explain what they’re doing, so Slick tells them the entire story about Bargos acquiring the mine, the corpses, and the droids’ story about a pirate attack on the miners. “You idiots!” shouts the voice, “We’re the miners! The droids went crazy and killed everyone and we fled down here!”


“Warning! Warning! Storm Barrier Generator compromised. Send maintenance teams as soon as possible. Warning! Warning!”


So now the group knows what’s up, that EV-8D3 got the other droids all fired up on the “Droid Rights Movement” and they went on a murder spree with the intention of destroying the facility and fleeing on the Sullustan’s ship. The miners are reluctant to fight, since only one of them has a blaster and the others only have mining drills, so Juice, Rackus, and Slick offer to clear the way ahead.

They get back to the mine entrance, where those battle droids are now active and EV-8D3 is now carrying s blaster rifle. Also, there’s now a heavy lifter droid in front of the doorway to the cargo area. Prata’ri Rackus reaches into his pocket and pulls out the restraining bolt from earlier. He sprints toward the lifting droid, leaps and manages to secure the bolt before the droid can move. He then takes cover behind the lifter as Juice opens fire on the battle droids. After destroying half of them, EV-8D3 makes a break for it, escaping to the cargo room. Rackus, forgetting that combat is NOT AT ALL his specialty, decides to be a hero and go after him, abandoning his two pals and heading into the cargo area, which (guess what?) is also full of droids, including another lifter. Rackus is beaten by droids until he loses consciousness, at which point the droids go back to whatever they were doing.

Meanwhile, Juice and Slick are fighting the remaining droids at the mine entrance, and one of the PK worker droids manages to knock Slick unconscious as well, leaving only Juice to finish them off. He revives Slick, who is slightly dazed, and they make their way into the cargo area. They blast the droids there, too, but EV-8D3 is nowhere to be found. Rackus is down for the count, but Juice and Slick know they have to get to the Tiny Dancer if they want to prevent the last generator from failing and ripping the whole place apart, so they decide to leave him for now and head back to their ship.

Upon arriving at the Landing Bay, they see that docking clamps have been locked on the Tiny Dancer, preventing it from taking off, so they run back to the reception office, where EV-8D3 is on the PA telling all the droids that the “pirates” are trying to escape and ordering them to converge on Landing Pad A. Juice blasts EV with a shot to the head, and Slick does his best droid impression to get back on the PA and buy some time, telling the droids that they aren’t on the landing pad anymore and are actually hiding somewhere inside the facility. Juice then uses his computer skill to remove the docking clamps from the Tiny Dancer before attaching them to the Sullustan freighter and blasting the console.

Juice and Slick hightail it back to the Tiny Dancer and take off, heading for the next Storm Barrier Generator. There, they find a droid piloting a cloud car working to sabotage it. It takes a few shots, because Juice isn’t a very good pilot the cloud car is so small and maneuverable, but eventually they destroy the cloud car and prevent the destruction of the entire Gavos Mining Facility.

Returning to Landing Pad A, Juice and Slick discover that with most of the tougher droids blown to bits, the miners finally grew a collective pair and took back the rest of the facility. The astromech droid, a co-conspirator, has now been fitted with a restraining bolt and the trouble is over. There’s still that matter of paying Bargos, though. Marv, the leader of the miners, mentions that there’s a safe in the office, and he opens it for them, revealing 165,000 credits. Marv says they need these credits to repair and resupply the facility, as well as for payment because they haven’t been paid since the droids took the place over. Slick and Juice negotiate with Marv, telling him that they’ll take only 100,000 credits since that’s all Bargos expects, and the miners can keep the remaining 65,000 as well as the freighter on Landing Pad B. Marv accepts since he owes these guys his life anyway, and thanks them for not being assholes. After loading a still-unconscious Rackus on board the Tiny Dancer, they take off and head back to Tatooine.

Bargos is glad to see them back, and is so pleased with his full payment that he gives them a 10% cut. After telling Bargos how much work it will be to get the mine back up and running, they decide to part ways. Slick, not knowing what to do with Rackus, borrows another transport from Bargos to head to Ryloth, where he assumes the Twi’lek must live. Juice, on the other hand, leaves and heads back to Mos Shuuta in search of his compatriots.

Long Arm of the Hutt - Act 1

Adria Montoya, Jeffren “Chico” Froe, Skooter Heetshooter

Blastin’ ass into space after stealing the Krayt Fang, our party realizes they didn’t actually look at anything before jumping into the ship and flying into space: the most goddamn deadliest place ever. Just a couple of problems with their new ship:

  • Everything is in fucking wookie
  • Everything stinks like fucking wookie
  • There’s a bunch of weird icons
  • Oh yeah, it’s low on fuel!

But they figure everything out, including the fact that Twerx (who’s still stunned in the cargo hold) had a dude in a cell still, a tracking device installed by Teemo, and a bunch of rotting wookie scalps stashed in a secret compartment. Being unscrupulous fucks, Jeffren and Skooter want to sell the scalps at the next port, but Adria is having none of it. After checking the ship out and looting a few small things, Skooter finds a sweet pile of droid parts to fix one up and swears up and down, just like his drinking problem, he’ll get on top of it one day. In the cell they find Bur’a B’an. He tells a sob story about his people being persecuted on Ryloth, and that he’s part of a group trying to organize the labor against Teemo’s thugs at the ryll mines. He offers that his group can refuel and fix the ship of they drop him off. Being basically fucked if they didn’t, our heroes agree. But as soon as they exit hyperspace, they are attached by an unknown craft. The crew fights it off though, and rather than give chase after the ship as it goes crashing toward the planet, they land in Nabat. B’an tells his people whats up, to fix the ship, etc. In the bazaar below the landing bay, Skooter and Jeffren come across a tradesman who seems willing to buy the wookie skins. But B’thhekk’atth’atttk’t isn’t a fool, and the two fail to negotaite, charm, or even coerce him into a better price. And Skooter’s even got a knife! Having gotten the skins sold, they meet up with B’an’s people and after some conversatin’ the crew decides to help the labor organizers. The leader of the movement warns the crew that two new arrivals to the city were snooping around their ship.

Next day they set off in a speeder the Twi’liks have offered them. The bluffs are rocky and dangerous, but Jeffren doesn’t give a shit and barrels ahead at full speed. After smashing through a rock a blaster bolt cracks out and hits the engine bay. Careening at a crazy angle, two passengers are ejected into the dust as Jeffren buries the craft into a mound of dirt. The shot came from a sniper perched above a tunnel entrance along the bluff. Two more figures emerge, one a human, the other the limping form of none other than Twerx! A firefight ensues, after gunning down the human merc, Skooter says “Fuck this” and pulls his knife as he charges into Twerx. Many a shanks are made, and eventually Twerx lies bleeding in the sand. The sniper makes a break for it into the cave and the crew gives chase. Inside there’s a loud roar and a girlish scream as a huge Lylek smashes out of a cave wall and sets upon the sniper. After Jeffren considers throwing a rock at the beast, B’an begs they keep moving while the monster is still feeding. As they leave the cave they discover the bounty hunters’ speeder, and use it to travel on to New Meen.

While getting the expanded sob story from the locals, a few drunken assholes working for some prick named Angu Drombb have crashed their transport into one of the homes. They demand our heroes’ speeder and while Jeffren is trying to talk them down Adria gets all blasty and Skooter gets all stabby before the goons know what’s-what. The trio decide to go pay Drombb a visit, and his compound is only a quite ride away.

Their observations reveal it’s a walled compound with hired guns coming and going. A blaster turret covers the entrance and two guards are posted on the gate. With a smirk, Jeffren says “I got this” and scrawls “PRESS” on a small card and tucks it into his hat. They drive up to the gate and attempt to pass themselves off as an investigation unit checking into abuses of the miners. Angu Drombb shambles out, but isn’t buying any of it. While Jeffren is spitting bullshit after bullshit, another tracked vehicle is speeding towards the compound. Suddenly the comlinks of the mercs are lighting up about the bloody corpses found back in New Meen. All hell breaks loose. Adria lines up a shot and snipes the turret operator, as Jeffren jumps into their speeder and plows into the group of mercs in front. Viscera dripping from the front of his grill, he e-brakes into a sharp turn and blasts a few shots out of the side. Skooter and Adria taking cover and exchanging fire with the garrison, meanwhile Drombb is stupefied and makes a brake for the barracks in the compound and he screams for reinforcements. Squads pour out into the firefight, and Jeffren guns the engines thinking he’ll cream a few more. But incoming fire and a general lack of coordination causes him to plow the speeder into the side of the wall. In the chaos Adria is hit and goes down. Skooter and Jeffren are pinned behind the burning speeder by red-hot blaster fire. It looks like the end for our heroes until a miracle right out of Occupy Coruscant unfolds. Twi’lik miners in revolt show up to assist, led by Bur’a Ba’n and help distract the goon squads long enough to turn the tide. After the last one is dispatched and Adria healed up, they move in on Drumbb. He spills his guts about what he knows, which isn’t much except that his contact with Teemo is made only with one of his agents named “Thweek” and that this dude was en route to intercept the Krayt Fang as of yesterday.

They give Drombb over the the miners to do with as they please, loot the offices, and call it a good day.

Long Arm of the Hutt - Act 2

Bradrus “Slick” Sell
Adria Montoya
Jeffren “Chico” Froe

After celebrating the victory of some miners (and no I don’t mean that time Jeffren rolled really successfully at that high school on Corellia) over Teemo, our group rolls back to the spaceport to meet up with FN-1K and sell some spoils. After grabbing some weapon parts from our friend B’thhekk’atth’atttk’t, Adria spots a cloaked figure who seems to be keeping an eye on them as they exit the shop. As the crew moves in to find out more about this stranger danger, he slips into the crowd, knocking a passerby over. The commotion provides the perfect cover for him to escape.

The person lying on the ground sobbing deeply into his sleeves dusts himself off and makes snotty introductions. His name is Bradrus “Slick” Sell, and he’s arrived on Ryloth to bring his friend Pratari home after a particularly rough off-world encounter. FN-1K, feeling altruistic patches Bradrus up, and offers to look at the wounds of his injured friend. Jeffren the Fuck, unscrupulous as ever entertains the idea of charging the poor man, but the rest of group quickly shuts that down being decent people. And one of them isn’t even a person, which says a lot about Jeffren…

They board the transport Prata’ri Rackus is resting in, and FN-1K does his best to make him comfortable. While aboard, they get an urgent message from Bur’a B’an to head back to resistance HQ. Sounds like the gang could be in for some action. Bradrus offers to assist as payback for the medical treatment, and they agree to keep Pratari in the Krayt Fang’s quarters under the watch of Skooter Heetshooter until the action has subsided. Back at resistance HQ, the leader Nyn introduces a Bothan named Ota who claims to have an in to Teemo. With a space whiskey in one hand and a space cigar in the other, he is coy about how he came across the info or how he found them, but proceeds to tell the group they were shown on a recent episode of Outer Rim’s Most Wanted with a bounty of fifty thousand credits for all their pretty heads. Teemo must want them bad. Ota says a party is happening on Geonosis (ugh) and if they can persuade the host Duke Piddles into ending his support for Teemo, the organization Ota works for would be pleased. There’s another bug, Duke Diddles who is also an arms trader like Piddles and could also be turned if the right info were to make its way to him. A quick conversation is had and agreed upon, then Ota makes the arrangements. The next day Nyn gives some money for guns as a front to Piddles party performance.

So they fly to Geonosis (ugh) to attend this party. It’s a pretty swanky deal, with a couple different interests represented. Only pistols were allowed, which is probably for the better because security is pretty heavy for a party. The group starts eyeing up the party goers. They spot Duke Piddles in a booth to the side, and make introductions. He’s nice enough, but unwilling to talk business with so many other guests to attend to. Biding their time, Jeffren and FN-1K have a drink because it’s an open tab. They see a human woman alone at the bar, and they saddle up next to her. Her name is Maru Jakkar, and she’s having none of what Jeffren is selling. He’s a little sloppy-drunk and she’s disgusted by FN-1K and quickly loses interest in the conversation. She briefly chats with Adria about life as a Bothan, but soon even that sputters and the group moves on.

Splitting up, Bradrus begins a chat with a Sullustan named Mu Nanb. He seems put off by the whole affair, which Bradrus keenly uses to his advantage and relates to the whole awkwardness of the evening. After a little digging, Bradrus finds out that Nanb is looking to score some arms for his “friends” who are having a hard time with the Empire. Bradrus pledges to help him in any way he can, sporting a boner for the Rebellion since that’s the whole reason he left home in the first place.

Meanwhile FN-1K is rocking out with his disturbingly fleshy cock out to the band performing on stage. Adria and Jeffren start chatting up the couple in a booth to the side. It turns out they are actually a pair of siblings named Orpa & Wex from Corellia who fly the freighter Lucky Guess. Wex is a little trashed and lets slip that they’re looking to secure the shipping rights to a shipment Piddles is arranging with Diddles to Tatooine. Next they talk to Anatta, a Toydarian (ugh) who comes off sketchier than usual and is willing to trade info for credits. He has a few tidbits, but is overall not willing to divulge anything huge other than that he works for the notorious Jabba the Hutt.

Bradrus moves on to the last of the party’s attendees, a Gand named Vrixx’tt. He’s standoffish and professional, with a cool air and a focus on business. While discussing generalities, Vrixx’tt checks his space cellphone and sees the bounties listed for the other three of the crew. It turns out he’s a Huntsman, a version of religious bounty hunters on planet to secure arms for his clan. His interest in the group piqued, he grills Bradrus who in turns offers to contact him if he learns the location of the crew’s ship, promising a cut of the bounty. Vrixx’tt leaves suddenly to make “preparations” and the night takes an interesting turn.

With the party dying down, Piddles sees the crew. He offers his wares, and a shipment is arranged for Nyn. Bradrus also drops note about the order for Mu Nanb, which is good because P-Diddy wasn’t very impressed with the awkward dealings the Sullustan was bringing to the table. Then they get down to it, and spill the beans on Teemo’s whole operation: that he’s trying to steal his droid design, that he’s secretly in bed with the Empire, and that he had Scivor killed by a Kubaz. Scivor, nooooo! P-Train is pissed, and offers to work with Diddles against Teemo if the crew can make it so.

The party over, the group leaves and relays this info to Ota. He’s arranged a meeting with Duke Diddles the next morning, which they head to at first light. Duke Diddles is a wizened Geonosian (ugh), and tries to give off an air of nobility despite basically being a giant Bedazzled cockroach. So they tell their tale, and DJ Diddles is just as pissed as Piddles. It’s a Pijiddles Bo Diddles Pissfest and Rage as the bugs become bros against a slug, and offer to sneak the crew into Teemo’s palace on Tatooine along with an order of droids that is set to leave on the Lucky Guess in a few hours. For good measure, FN-1K asks that Maru Jakkar be kicked off the planet because she’s a space racist against droids. Kind Diddles agrees, then sees the crew out and gives them the coordinates to the ship.

The crew makes their way to the Lucky Guess’ hangar. A blaster shot zings past from an unknown sniper perch. Taking cover, Bradrus’ comlink buzzes to life. It’s Vrixx’tt, seeing that Bradrus has located the crew. He demands he lead them out. With a wink and a nod, Bradrus points his blaster at Jeffren, who puts his hands behind his back in a gesture of bondage (jokes). Vrixx’tt makes his way down, asking where the other crew went. Bradrus points in a vague “over there” kind of way, but really they are behind some crates readying weapons. Vrixx’tt orders Bradrus to watch Jeffren as he goes after the rest. As he passes Jeffren he looks over. A Mexican Gand Off ensues, and the wily hunter notices the ruse and aims at Jeffren who in turns draws and fires. Jeff is laid low with a well-placed shot but aims true and sends Vrixx’tt reeling, buying Adria enough time to line up a headshot. With the Gand dead, FN-1K patches Jeffren up and they smuggle themselves onto the Lucky Guess. Next stop: Teemo’s palace!

Meanwhile on Ryloth, Pratari is still passed out, Skooter updates his Spacebook, and Juice is doing something on Tatooine.

Long Arm of the Hutt - Act 3

Adria Montoya
Bradrus “Slick” Sell
Jeffren “Chico” Froe


After smuggling themselves onto the Lucky Guess, our motley band discusses the next course of action with Wex and Orpa, who give them the skinny on Teemo the Hutt palace. After a quick talk, they decide the best course of action is to cram into a crate to be delivered to Teemo’s. After a few minutes sucking air through a gloryhole, they wait for the unloading team to leave the warehouse before creeping out and checking the place over. After stumbling around in the dark for a while, FN-1K strolls up to the communications room and chats up the droid operator. He convinces the droid to go back the kitchen and talk with some cyber-bros he used to work for about droid rights. After the droid is gone, the gang slips on in and haxxorz the interwebz to shut down the alarms in the palace. Then they discover some personal files on the space hard drive, each with a juicy morsel. They find evidence of Teemo saving schematics for battle droids he plans to manufacture himself for the black market, that a spy is operating within his court, and most damning is the fact he’s been cheating on Jabba’s payments. Jeffren downloads this info and then sends it to his editors at CPN. The meatbags run out the room just in time for the droid to head back and relieve FN-1K from the comms.

Back in the warehouse, they notice a grate that according to the schematics will allow access to the gladiator cells. After prying the grate off, Jeffren draws the short straw and steps knee deep in shit. It’s a sewer passage, and after groping around in the waste of Christ knows how many different species, he finds a switch to extend a walkway for the rest of the team. They make their way into the back accessport of the gladiator’s cell. As they make their way down the hall, they overhear the four remaining fighters talking about a recent comrade’s death. After a rocky start, eventually Bradrus offers to find them a new employer, Barga the Hutt, in exchange for their silence. They agree, but demand contact within 24 hours to prove the job will be intact. Bradrus agrees, and the group moves once again back to the workshop after seeing no other way through.

As they walk back through the shit-tunnels, they hear angry squeaking in the warehouse. FN-1K is once again recruit to check it out. He sees Thweek the Kubaz yelling angrily at the loading droid that’s attempting to stow a crate aboard his ship! He eyes FN-1K up, but doesn’t recognize him (probably because he’s a space racist and all droids look alike to him). Through the gross butthole of a mouth he squeaks at FN-1K to load it for him. Ole’ FN hops up to the loader’s manual controls, but he’s a doctor, not a UPS driver and immediately proceeds to put it in revers and smash it into the wall. Luckily though the crate comes off it’s moorings and crashes down towards Thweek, causing him to dive out of the way and allowing the rest of the crew to get the draw on him. After an awkward exchange using a datapad, Thweek bargains his life for information on Jabba’s spy in Teemo’s court. After writing “Kloo horn” next to a crude drawing of a space dick with “FUK YOU” in it, he tosses the datapad back to Jeffren and makes a bolt for his ship. He blasts-ass to space, but keeps his word and doesn’t drop info to Teemo.

That drama handled, the crew goes back into the warehouse. Drawing up the schematics the see a door that would let them skip the front reception and offices into a hallway. So they try to slice the door, but fail horribly, causing the blast door to slam down and jam itself shut. Seeing no other way around, FN-1K again does some smooth talking and gets his bro in the comms room to offer some visitor passes for the crew, saying they are droid rights activists come to talk to the kitchen staff. Passes in hand, they move through the empty offices to reception, where they asked what they’re doing. With a few awkward stumbles, Adria manages to convince the staff they are here to service the comms. Suspicious but noticing the system had been acting up, she assigns two guards to them. While coming back through the office, they make their move on the grunts. Smashing a chair over one as he’s swinging his axe, it plants the blade firmly into the skull of another. A crack to the head with a heavy paperweight knocks the other out quietly. After finding a place to store the bodies, they head back to reception and tell her the grunts are moving gear they will need to repair the comms. It’ll take some time, so they’re going to head to the main room for a bit to relax. I guess because they are space union and aren’t charged by the hour.

In the throne room the place is pretty crowded. There’s a bunch of regulars dancing to a Bith band, a table of guards drinking, and Teemo himself chilling with two hulking elite Gammorreans. Everyone makes their way to the bar and orders a drink, blending in with the crowd, except FN-1K who goes to the kitchen. One of the guards comes over and strikes up a chat with Jeffren. He convinces the guard he’s a regular and offers a round to the four thugs. Happy at the free drinks, Jeffren and Bradrus ask to meet with the Bith band in an effort to flush out the spy Thweek mentioned. As the gang crosses the dance floor one of the elites is pissed an wanting to know why half the staff is drunkenly leaving post. Noticing the commotion, Teemo weighs in (lol get it?) on the situation. Jeffren pulls an impressive “Who, me?” line but the Hutt sees through that shit. His guard goes to seize him, but with some kind of anti-rape-self-defense Judo move he flips the guard over the railing and into the gladiator ring. Everyone is tense and pissed. Guns are reached for, but everyone needs to coooool out! Jeffren and Bradrus try and talk sense into the slug, and offer the datapad’s copied transcripts and the fact Jeffren sent the info to his offworld sources as reasons to not only let them go, but drop the bounty. Bradrus also demands he stop his shipment of arms for the Empire, and offers the spy info gleamed from Thweek as trade. Teemo orders the band out, and Bradrus to identify the traitor in his midst. Reluctantly, Bradrus fingers the kloo horn player, and on the thugs then bashes the pleading Bith’s skull in with repeated sickening strikes in front of everyone as Teemo’s sadistic laughter echoes in the chamber. Just then, a rabble of droids bursts out of the kitchen led by FN-1K. They chant about equal rights and start slinging a bunch of pamphlets around. The gaurds then have to content with these droids as well as the fiasco with these intruders. Finally exasperated and probably a little sleepy, Teemo says the Hutt version of “fuck it” and that if Bradrus is so worried about where the guns go, he can deliver them himself. But Teemo expects full payment in one week, and if they thought the 50k bounty was bad they have no idea what will happen in they don’t pay up in a week.

Gathering themselves and leaving the palace in a bit of a rush, our crew finds itself without a bounty but not completely out of debt with Teemo…

Hell Hoth No Fury (Like A Hutt Scorned)

Juice Dookdroppa
Skooter Heetshooter
Bradrus “Slick” Sell

Space Log
-Jeffren Froe

TATOOINE – While the rest of us were off taking care of business with Teemo the Hutt, Skooter was dickin’ around on Ryloth inside the Krayt Fang. Drunk off his ass, he managed to find a few parts to start building a sex droid or something, I don’t know. Anyway, we gave him a call and told him the weapons were ready for pickup from Teemo’s landing pad.

Slick decided we should stay in a swanky ass hotel, which worked out well, because we ran into Juice getting into a fight down in the lobby. Somehow he and Slick knew each other, I’ll have to hear more about that later. But I had a lot of shit to work on for CPN so I told them I was gonna sit this one out.

So these idiots ran into those gladiators at Teemo’s palace (the ones Slick made a bunch of promises to). Well, when they realized that Slick was full of shit they decided to take it out on him with their fists. Luckily, Juice whipped out this big ass gun that people let him carry around everywhere for some reason, and then he gunned like three guys. So obviously, the last guy surrendered and said he would forget he ever saw anything.

Unfortunately, the gladiators were originally sent out there to help them put the weapon crates onto the ship, and there’s no way Slick or FN-1K were gonna be able to do any heavy lifting. So once Skooter finally showed up, they had to fix the broken cargo loader and throw the blaster rifles into the cargo bay.

So things are looking up, right? WRONG. As soon as they take off there’s a Star Destroyer waiting for them to do a “routine cargo check.” Yeah, that doesn’t sound fishy at all. So FN-1K has this pretty great idea to take the weapons out of the crates and put himself and Skooter’s half-droid inside.

Great plan, but for some reason the group let Skooter do the talking and he came up with some lame-ass story about how they were heading to Ryloth for droid repairs. It’s too bad Commander Rison wasn’t buying any of their shit, because I guess he had a spy or something in Teemo’s palace when Slick told the entire underworld about our plans to run guns for the rebels. Oh, and I guess everyone on board the ship was too busy wetting themselves to notice the tracking device being applied to hull of the Krayt Fang. But hey, they were alive and still had some weapons to deliver, so off they went.

When they got to Hoth, FN-1K was like, hey, there’s this really bad storm over our destination, so why don’t we go around it? Skooter wasn’t having any of it, and drunkenly flew straight into the storm zone. So of course they wrecked the ship. Said they blew out some hyper-discretion thermometer or something. They put Skooter into the hazardous environment suit and sent him to check out the damage, but instead he finally found that tracking device.

I think it was at this moment that it suddenly dawned on them how badly they were failing at this whole smuggling thing. I really should have just said fuck it and gone with them. So they decided to hack the device, but it already tracked them to Hoth, so I don’t get why they even bothered. Ugh.

By some crazy coincidence, there was another Corellian ship that wrecked nearby. They managed to climb inside, check the place out, and found the corpse of some Rodian dude named Navo. He was chillin’ in the cargo bay along with an open crate full of power cells. They also found a spare hyper-relativity activator thing… what luck!

Once again they ventured out into the cold to explore a nearby cave. Because when you’re on the run from the Empire, smuggling weapons to rebels and freezing to death, hey, why not go spelunking! So they saunter inside and find what appears to be an abandoned campsite, a fireplace, tent, human skeletal remains, and A WAMPA!

The wampa immediately grabs Slick, but he managed to wriggle his way out of it with some minor scrapes and bruises. Even though the majority of the work was done by Juice and his big ass gun, Slick steals the glory by firing off a single shot through the head of the wampa. Unfortunately, the furry white corpse came crashing down on him. I think he was ok, but his dignity was pretty wounded.

Upon closer inspection, that human skeleton turned out to be Captain Brax from that wrecked ship. Turns out he locked his partner in the cargo hold when he caught him busting open power cells to keep warm. Damn, that’s cold. Get it? Cold?

While all that was going on, Skooter decided to head back to check on the ship. Good thing, too, because an Imperial shuttle had landed right next to it. There was a brief incident with some stormtroopers I think, but Juice showed up with his cannon and trivialized the whole thing. I mean, really, it didn’t even sound like a fair fight.

Long story short, they realize they’re short on time now, so they trekked it on over to a nearby structure, which as luck would have it, turned out to be the rebel base. They went inside to meet Commander Tanquar Eenel, who was this Mon Calamari dude that just shouted everything. Turns out he doesn’t have the full 10 grand for the guns. See, he had 15k for two shipments, half for the guns, half for the power cells.

Luckily our little entrepreneurs decided to head back out to the wrecked ships and load up both shipments so they could collect the 15 thousand bones. The rebels loaned them a landspeeder for the trip, which was a huge mistake because Skooter nearly wrecked it trying to pull a Chico and e-brake it around into the hangar. Luckily the cargo wasn’t damaged, so they collected their money and went back to the ship.

It’s too bad they forgot about that Star Destroyer on their ass. One shot from the turbolasers nearly grounds them again. They quickly realized that this was a fight they couldn’t win, so instead they hightailed it into hyperspace before a squadron of TIE fighters could make it over to them.

Back on Tatooine, they met up with Teemo and paid him off. Clean slate. But then Teemo asked if they would be interested in more work in the future. So they exchanged Spacebook information and said they would talk later. I’m still trying to figure out how they managed to pull all this off.

Dangerous Prey

Adria Montoya
Jeffren “Chico” Froe
Juice Dookdroppa
Skooter Heetshooter

After leaving Teemo’s palace on Tatooine, the crew of the Krayt Fang finds themselves followed by a mysterious Sullustan. He introduces himself as Imik Suum, and asks the group for assistance. Imik is a mechanic, and his friend, swoop bike pilot Seng Windrunner, has been arrested as a Rebel sympathizer. Imik explains that he’s been searching everywhere for information as to Seng’s whereabouts, but he can’t find anything that would indicate where the Empire may be holding him. The only piece of info he has is that Seng was arrested by an Imperial officer named Lieutenant Herkin, who happens to be on Tatooine at that time. Imik offers the group 2000 credits to infiltrate the Imperial spaceport and plant a tracking device on Herkin’s shuttle. The group is slightly hesitant, until Imik also offers his services as a mechanic to repair the recent damage done to their ship. This seals the deal, and Imik gives them his tracking device and the location of Lt. Herkin’s ship.

Remembering that they have a set of Stormtrooper armor onboard the Krayt Fang, Chico and Skooter devise a plan to get past the guards. Chico suits up as a trooper, and leads Skooter in binders right through the front entrance. They get to Herkin’s shuttle and see that it’s guarded by 4 additional stormtroopers. Skooter uses his memory of every other day that week to act drunk, and Chico leads him to the loading ramp, telling the troopers that he has a prisoner for Lt. Herkin. The stormtrooper sergeant is skeptical, and contacts Herkin via comlink, so Chico mentions that Skooter was talking about the Rebellion. The sergeant relays this to Herkin, and a moment later they let Chico lead his “prisoner” onto the shuttle.

Once on board, Chico and Skooter turn into Abbott and Costello. They can’t successfully hide this tracking device to save their goddamn lives. Maybe Skooter really is drunk. After repeatedly failing to plant the tracker in a way that it A) will stay there, and B) won’t be noticed, the duo come up with a brilliant alternative: Skooter will hide the device in his pants, and then Chico will actually lock him in the tiny detention cell on board, so that Skooter will actually be Herkin’s prisoner! There’s no way this solid gold plan could possibly go right wrong.

Chico exits the ship, leaving Skooter behind with nothing but a comlink in his hand and a LoJack on his balls. Sure enough, Lt. Herkin returns to his shuttle and notices he has a new prisoner in the holding cell. He confiscates Skooter’s comlink and prepares for take off.

Meanwhile, Chico returns to the Krayt Fang, where Imik has repaired the ship and it’s ready to go. Juice and Adria are both like, “Uh…where’s Skooter?” and Chico explains the situation. So now when Herkin’s ship takes off, they definitely have to follow him. Unfortunately, once they’re in the space above Tatooine, Herkin’s ship has docked on a waiting star destroyer, which then jumps to lightspeed.

Ultimately, they pick up the signal from the homing beacon, which leads them to the nearby planet Rodia. They’re able to determine the region where the homing beacon is, but not its exact location. The signal appears to be coming from a compound where numerous other ships have landed, but the crew decides to play it cautious and land in a jungle clearing to avoid any possible authorities. Once the Krayt Fang has landed, the crew must trek through the swamp in order to get to the compound, which turns out to be a Rodian hunting encampment. Following the crowds, they make their way into the main visitor’s area, where they are greeted by Goova Oonta, Matriarch of the Oonta clan, and her two children, Moxo and Plateena. She thanks all the guests for coming to their hunt, and invites them to socialize before the actual hunting begins that evening. Juice, Adria, and Chico take advtange of this opportunity by trying to gather information that could lead them to Skooter (oh, and the other guy, I guess).

The group socializes with the Matriarch and her two children, then tries their luck with the various other guests who are there for the hunt, including a Trandoshan, a Twi’lek, a Corellian, and a wealthy Human couple. Eventually they manage to get a hint that there may be other, less reputable hunts going on, but they are unable to gain any more info. They also learn that there was some kind of delivery near Moxo’s barracks. Later on the Matriarch announces that they are preparing for the first hunt that evening, and invites the guests to follow her to get ready. Adria, Juice, and Chico decide to abstain (courteously) from the hunt and sneak around the complex. They make their way to Moxo’s barracks, but don’t find anything useful. As they exit, though, they notice a small shed in the distance.

As they approach it in the darkness, they find it’s being guarded by two Rodian hunters. After some deliberation, the three formulate a plan. Chico dashes at the guards, fires a shot from his blaster, then takes off running. One of the guards takes off after him, leaving only one to remain at the shed entrance. Adria fires at this one from the darkness, wounding him, and preventing him from accurately firing back. He does, however, manage to sound the alarm and call for backup. During the commotion, Juice makes a charge past the guard and blasts the door open, where he comes upon the badly beaten (but still alive) bodies of Skooter and Seng Windrunner. The guard turns to attack Juice, and is gunned down.

Chico, on the other hand, manages to ditch the pursuing guard and makes his way back to the shed to regroup with the others. They stim up and make a break back towards their ship before reinforcements arrive. To avoid having to trudge through the swamp again, the group snags a skiff on the outskirts of the facility. Chico hotwires it, and Seng pilots it through the dark, swampy terrain.

Midway, they pass another skiff which comes after them. Fortunately, Seng’s piloting skills keep them in the lead, allowing Juice to fire a barrage at the skiff behind them, disabling it. A single blaster shot zaps by Juice’s head as the damaged skiff slows to a stop, while the crew of the Krayt Fang continues on to the safety of their ship. Once aboard, they immediately take off and begin to plot a course for Tatooine. Shortly before they’re able to make the jump to hyperspace, two TIE fighters arrive, but the Krayt Fang easily outruns them, even pausing momentarily to blast one to pieces before making the jump.

Returning to Tatooine, Imik is thrilled to have his best friend returned, and happily pays the crew the 2000 credits he promised. And even though they were unable to get to Herkin, the crew is glad to have Skooter back safely. Just don’t ask him what happened. He doesn’t want to talk about it.

Under A Black Sun

Adria Montoya
Jeffren “Chico” Froe
Juice Dookdroppa
Prata’ri Rackus
Skooter Heetshooter

In order to help settle his debts to the Pyke crime family, Prata’ri Rackus agreed to infiltrate a Black Sun outpost on Coruscant to get information on a bounty hunter who betrayed them. Knowing he couldn’t do this alone, Rackus contacted Juice Dookdroppa, the mercenary who saved his life on Gavos, to help him pull off the job. Juice brought along the crew of the Krayt Fang, and together they headed to Coruscant to track down their target.

After breaking into the Black Sun facility to download data about the bounty hunter, the team inadvertently set off alarms and had to flee quickly. To escape pursuit by Black Sun thugs, the crew manages to snag an airspeeder, taking to the sky. However, a gang of thugs showed up behind them on their own swoop bikes, blasting until they had destroyed the pilot droid that had been steering the speeder! Luckily, Chico was able to regain control before anything else went wrong, and he managed to slow down enough to make the Black Sun thugs pass by, allowing the crew to lose them in the heavy Coruscant traffic.

Since the data Rackus had stolen was heavily encrypted, the team brought it to a mechanic and Pyke family contact named Cho’pa’ailor(“Chopper”) to be decoded. Chopper informs them that the bounty hunter they’re looking for is a Nikto named Kaa’to Leeachos. He apparently stole part of a spice shipment he was supposed to deliver for the Pykes, planning to turn it over to the Black Sun instead. They also learn that there are 3 locations the Nikto is known to frequent: The Umbra Club, an underground bar, The Spyder, a local sabacc parlor, and Zelcomm Tower, a shipping company headquarters.

To cover more ground, the team decides to split up, with Rackus, Juice, and Adria heading to Zelcomm Tower. Chico and Skooter, on the other hand, decide to go be jerks and just play sabacc.
They do actually manage to win a few hands, but don’t get any useful information, so after a quick and fruitless chat with a Black Sun underboss, they decide to take their winnings and check out the Umbra Club.

Meanwhile, at the Zelcomm Tower, the other three arrive to find the facility dark and seemingly closed for the evening. They spot a side entrance that leads to a maintenance hangar, and slip inside unnoticed. The hangar includes a route to the main lobby, so the three sneak in and remain in the dark while figuring out how to deal with the single guard who sits at a security desk in the center of the lobby area. Adria tries to sneak up to him, but trips in the darkness. Juice then tries to sneak up, but stumbles over the exact same obstacle (it’s dark). Fortunatlely, Rackus has his electrogoggles, and is far better suited to silently creep up behind the lone security officer. _Un_fortunately, he has no idea what to do when he gets there, so he weakly slaps at the guard like a petulant child. The guard, however, is startled by this, which allows Adria to quickly get to her feet and stab him with her force pike.

Having successfully murdered a security guard, leaving his wife a widow and his children fatherless, the group searches his corpse and takes his heavy blaster pistol and an access card marked Sublevel 1A. Adria and Rackus also try their hand at hacking the computer at the security desk, and find out that the office of Coruum Sa’dia (the head of Zelcomm Industries) is located on the 19th floor. They also notice a pair of security guards on a monitor, patrolling the 7th floor. Quietly, the group takes an elevator to the 19th floor, where they spot Coruum’s office down the hall. Adria picks the lock on the door, but unknowingly trips a silent alarm that notifies both Coruum Sa’dia as well as the guards in the building that the office has been breached. Both Adria and Rackus work on Coruum’s computer to search for information, while Juice stands in the hallway, covering the entrance with dual blaster pistols.

Adria and Rackus manage to break into a set of files on Coruum’s computer indicating that Zelcomm is a front for weapons smuggling, with full records of shipments, invoices, and balance sheets. Among the names in these records is Kaa’to Leeachos, along with the address of a kelerium processing plant in Sector 943 and a list of previous contacts who have delivered to him in the past. They find out that he recently received a partial shipment of weapons from Zelcomm, with the second half set to be delivered later that evening.

Before they can get any more info, however, the elevator sounds, and the doors open to reveal 5 security guards. Juice blasts away, killing one guard instantly and keeping the others pinned down. He yells into the office, and Adria and Rackus use their computer skills to shut down the building’s elevator system. Two guards manage to jump out before the doors close, but Juice dispatches them quickly. Seizing their comlinks, Rackus learns an additional squad of guards is attempting to get the elevators back online, and manages to convince them that the “intruders” are no longer on the 19th floor. This buys the group a little additional time, but they are unable to search through Coruum’s files any further, as Coruum himself is now logging in remotely and preventing them from accessing his data. With no other information to gain, they realize they must reactivate the elevators in order to escape, so Juice lies among the slain guards and pretends to be dead as well. Rackus and Adria restore power to the elevators, freeing the two guards who were trapped inside. Seeing the floor littered with bodies, they cautiously approach Coruum’s office to make sure it is secure. They stand on either side of the doorway and instruct the intruders to throw down their weapons and come out peacefully, and that’s when Juice sits up and opens fire, allowing Adria and Rackus to finish the guards off while they’re distracted.

While this is going on, Chico and Skooter have decided to check out the Umbra Club. Chico manages to talk the bouncers at the entrance into letting them inside, and then spends 50 credits to bribe the bartender in order to find out what he knows about Kaa’to. The bartender, Omacala, reveals that Kaa’to was last seen talking with a spice dealer named Speng, who is currently doing business in one of the private booths at the club. Skooter and Chico wait outaide the booth until a female exits with her purchase, then they make their way inside. They pay him off, and Speng reveals that Kaa’to owes money at The Spyder, so he hasn’t been there lately. He also tells them the whereabouts of Kaa’to’s hideout, the kelerium plant in Sector 943.

Back at Zelcomm Tower, the other 3 group members decide to check out sublevel 1A before leaving. They come across a storage facility with a tunnel where workers are packing crates with weapons to be smuggled through the underground tunnels. Not wanting to let these weapons fall into the wrong hands, the group ambushes the workers and forces them to evacuate on one of the cargolift speeders inside. Juice then rigs the weapon crates with explosives, and uses the remaining cargo speeder to move far enough down in the tunnel to safely throw a grenade, destroying the entire weapons shipment. They then contact Chico and Skooter and tell them to pick them up with the Krayt Fang.

Chico and Skooter head back to their ship, and successfully avoid being hit by a blaster bolt from the rooftops on the way. It looks like someone may be onto them.

Once on aboard the Krayt Fang, Chico and Skooter pick up their comrades, and they decide to make their way to Sector 943 to go after Kaa’to. Once there, they make their way inside, notifying a trio of Mustafarian overseers that they are tracking down a bounty hunter who may be hiding inside the facility. The overseers allow them to pass, and the group enters into the main kelerium processing area. There, on a catwalk above them, is Kaa’to Leeachos. He taunts the group, saying he plans to add them all to his “kill list”, then readies his blaster and fires up his jetpack…

which explodes. In mid-air. Seriously, the deadly and notorious bounty hunter launches into the air above his targets only to have his faulty jetpack malfunction and blow up, wounding him and dropping him down onto the platform directly in front of his enemies. Unable to believe their luck, the group decides they don’t even want to shoot him, and run over to kick the crap out of him while he’s down. Kaa’to, however, is tougher than they think, even on the ground with a smoldering back, and he leaps at Chico and Skooter, attacking them with his claws. He manages to wound them both, forcing Adria and Juice to put him down with their blasters. Man, that was quick.

Deciding to search the facility a little further, the group discovers Kaa’to’s secret hideout, where they find not only the stolen spice shipment, but also a fully functional Z-95 Headhunter, the Blade’s Edge. The group offers to let Prata’ri Rackus keep the ship for himself, so that he can get around the galaxy and get to them if he needs to. They also give him Kaa’to’s customized laminate armor. Rackus sheds a single tear of gratitude, and then climbs into the cockpit of his newly acquired starfighter to meet back up with the group at the Pyke family headquarters. The crew returns to the Pykes and delivers the stolen shipment of spice, prompting the crime family to pay out 1,000 credits a piece to each member of the group. Rackus nobly directs his payment to be split among the others since he’s already come out of this with a new set of armor and his own goddamn spaceship, which increases the take for the others to 1250 credits each.

All in all, not a bad score.

Death in Deep Space

Adria Montoya
Bradrus “Slick” Sell
Jeffren “Chico” Froe
Skooter Heetshooter

En route to Nar Shadaa at the insistence of Adria, the crew of the Kryat Fang are going about their routines in hyperspace. Jeffren is in the cockpit typing away more anti-Imperial propaganda for the Lamestream Media, Adria is browsing Space Google about a guy named Zuul. FN-1K is pouring over his Droid Rights manifesto learning more talking points for his next demonstration. Bradrus is…looking out a window. In the cargo bay, Skooter is attempting to sort through the droid components he’s assembled with Juice looking on.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Juice says as he eyes the strewn about parts littering the bay.

“Of course I do! Probably.” Skooter replies as he assesses a damaged arm.

“Phht, I’ll believe when I see-“ but Juice is cut short as both of them are suddenly slung across the room. The entire ship shakes violently as it’s ripped into realspace. Skooter slowly gets up and dusts himself off. He looks over and sees Juice knocked out on the floor.

“Did you see that?” He smirks as he walks out of the loading bay to see what’s happened. Up in the cockpit everyone is gathering to see what Jeffren did wrong, but before they can shout at him he points to the ship’s display which reads that a proximity alert triggered emergency translation from hyperspace. The hyper-something-majigger needs to be reset and it’ll take a few hours to do so. Everyone is pissed at having to stop and wait for the full system reset, but they want to know what made them stop in the first place.

Outside the viewports of the cockpit, a medium cruiser drifts in space. Suspiciously, the ship doesn’t answer any hails. It has power and life support, but parts of the ship are decompressed. While there doesn’t seem to be any external damage to the ship, it’s also obvious that it’s simply adrift and not on course to anywhere in particular. Some of the crew want to investigate, but Jeffren says “Fuck that noise.” And is happy to wait on the Fang for the system reset to finish. As soon as he utters the sentence automated data feeds to his display saying a malfunction in life support on the Fang means they have about an hour to get off before it starts getting hard to breathe.

With an “ugh” of disgust, Jeffren resigns to investigate the ship as their only refuge while the Fang runs it’s diagnostics. Limping closer, they can make out the designation SARASTINO as they pull up to an airlock. After a few quick docking jokes, Skooter demonstrates his heart of gold and goes back into the docking bay and gets the unconscious Juice into an environmental suit so he won’t suffocate on the ship. Good on him.

The Fang now fully docked with the Sarastino (heh) the crew opens the airlock into a small loading bay. It’s empty save a few crates that are labeled medical supplies. Jeffren the Fuck decides to pilfer some medical goods while no one is looking, but jokes on him because it’s actual medical components, not usable stims. FN-1K creepily reaches into the crate and pockets some synthflesh for some unknown reason which disturbs everyone else greatly. They proceed to the next room, which looks like some kind of rec room for the crew… except there’s no crew.

After looking the room over they find a small locker which is hastily jammed lock. After cracking it open, they find a dead body. The weird thing is while there are a few small lacerations on his torso, the guy in the locker shot himself in the head. Why you would lock yourself inside a closet only to shoot yourself is unknown. But it’s enough of an unease to put everyone on guard. They make weapons ready and move into the corridor adjacent to common room. When no one is looking Skooter pockets ten credits from the dead guy. “Oi, thanks mate.”

It’s dark as hell as they step into the hallway. A few glowrods sweep the passage, and it’s a damn wreck. Crates are overturned, and worse still there’s blaster shots scoring the walls and blood splatters along the wall. But still no bodies. At the end they can barely make out crates that have been stacked on top of each other to make some kind of wall, but a part of the wall has collapsed and fallen. In the distance they hear a faint shuffling sound. Bradrus recommends FN-1K goes first in a brazen act of courage. They try to light his path but he stumbles over something on the ground, clattering loudly as he goes down. The hall falls silent. Jeffren powers on his camera’s night vision and decides to try and go all Spec Ops as he steps down the passage. He nears the crates he sees an arm jutting from around the corner. This isn’t good! He steps cautiously around the bend in the crate fort and comes upon something hunched over a body.

In the electro-green static of his camera he sees a “ghoul”-ish creature eating the remains of a crewmember. It turns to him and reaches out with blood-slicked claws. But holy balls! Jeffren is quick on the draw and manages to down the beast before it reaches him. After regaining his composure and loosening his bowels, he calls for the rest of the crew. They all look over the grisly kill, and even Dr. NK is unable to pinpoint the species of the creature. One thing they do note is that it happens to be wearing the bottom half of a Sarastino crew member outfit. DUN DUN DUUUNNN!

Satisfied with their poking and prodding, our crew moves on to the next room which is labeled as the commissary. When they walk in, they see a similar wreck of a room. Shit is smashed everywhere, bodies of the crewmembers mixed in with a few of those monsters shot to hell. Two hatches on either side of the room are welded shut, but one seems to only be partially sealed as if the torch had ran out of gas mid-job. At the end of the room, against the storage area is another hastily constructed fortification of crates. But kabloomers! A blaster shot rings out from behind it.

A jittery dude pops up from behind the crates screaming at the crew, calling them all kinds of slanderous shit like “ISB pricks,” “Krennel’s hit squad,” “infected,” and “ugly.” Another guy comes up and tries to talk to first dude down, telling him to shut up or everyone on the ship will hear them. As if on cue, distant shrieking can be heard growing louder. The first guy behind the crates is losing it, saying it’s the crew’s fault for bring them here as there’s a loud beating against the partially welded hatch. In a matter of moments the plasteel gives way as packs of the hellspawn come flooding in. Everyone lets loose, blasters zinging everywhere.

The spaz who was freaking out goes down first under a flurry of claws and teeth, and the other survivor is injured before the creatures all lay dead. He grunts saying his name is Tulane and gives a long-winded explanation as to what’s happened on the Sarastino. Turns out the ship was diverted off course to a backwater world for a rescue mission. They picked up a couple of Imperials who didn’t look too good. They set off on their regular mission and shit starts going crazy. He’s trying to set up an SOS for the ship when he hears the security officer Krennel on the comms saying to evacuate ship. A little while later he sees out of the viewscreens that the entire starboard side of the ship was decompressed while the crew was trying to reach escape craft, killing most. He’s pissed at Krennel, and doesn’t plan on turning into one of those things they fought. The crew gathers their thoughts and leaves Tulane to try and find Krennel.

Outside in the hall junction they hear Tulane “fix” himself with a blaster. In the hall there’s a junction to Medbay, a small engine maintenance shaft that doesn’t look like it can be accessed from this side, and Aft Storage. Never able to resist junk in a trunk, Jeffren suggest seeing what’s in storage. At the door the console has been smashed with a wrench and “DANG” has been scratched into the door. “Daaang” chuckles Skooter as he hotwires the door using the exposed wires. The bay opens, but it’s pitch black. Various crates line the walls, with a few strange holes that seem to be pried into the walls near the roof. “Let the droid go first” offers Bradrus again, but before FN-1K can respond one of the beasts is seen in the bay’s shadow. It’s gunned down, but the horrendous shrieking starts echoing all around as more of the creatures come streaming in from the holes. Jeffren gets jumped by the baddies, but FN-1K saves him with a headshot (unfortunately this also gets alien brain skeet all over Jeffren, but he’s pretty cool with it). The crew puts up a valiant fight, but its obvious they’re about to be overwhelmed. Adria makes a break for the door’s access panel, shouting for the rest of the idiots to make a break for it. Fighting a withdrawal, they’re able to hold the masses off in time to slam the door back shut.

Back in the hallway, and with more of those things thumping against the door, they decide to keep moving. In Medbay C it’s a slaughterhouse. Bodies of medical personnel and security members lie dead next to more of the creatures. Nothing much is worth salvaging, except a small datapad from one of the doctors. His notes state the creatures are the result of an unknown infection the Imperials they rescued brought on board. The captain of the ship refused to quarantine the ship and cause costly delays. The results seem to be the chaos going on now. Medbay B is in a similar state of chaos. While searching the room, one of crew stumbles onto one of the wounded creatures among the bodies. It swipes at them, but Skooter is quick with a knife and shanks it in the skull. Noice.

Medbay A is behind a locked access door, but they make pretty quick work of it. Inside the facility is actually in pretty good shape. A couple of autodocs next to gurneys are primed and ready, and Skooter patches himself up. There’s also a couple of lockers, one has been pried open. Inside the broken one is an empty crate that must of housed a tube or vial of some kind, but the contents are missing. There’s also an Imperial issue datapad, but they are unable to crack it. While they are rummaging around they hear blaster fire out in the hallway next door.

Investigating the ruckus, they see two security droids firing at a pack of the beasts. They decide to throw in with the droids (bro) and help put down the last of them. The droids eye them up suspiciously, and aren’t even keen to hear FN-1K’s proselytizing. Soon they stand down and a guy who turns out to be Krennel pops up on a monitor. He not only stands the droids down, he even asks the crew for help. He unbolts the door to security command and lets the gang in.

Inside his office, Krennel explains what’s happened to the Sarastino. Seems the Imperial Security Bureau ordered the ship to divert course and pick up it’s agent. They were sick with this infection, but also seemed to be carrying what looks like a cure. When it spread on the ship, the captain lost it and Krennel took over. He instituted an emergency exit of hyperspace and an abandon ship notice. When enough of the crew (and the things hunting the crew) were gathered, he decompressed the ship’s compartment. In his cold logic, he was saving lives by killing most of the crew. Limit infection, limit risk, limit possible exposure to future infection outbreak.

Now he leans in and says it isn’t enough. He points to a device on his desk that he explains is a shape charge. He asks the crew to escort him to the engine bay and plant the charge on the hyperdrive, disabling the ship from being able to travel back to their port which the emergency automated systems were in the process of doing. It would keep whatever infected are still on the ship from spreading. The crew, seeing the dire implications of the ship arriving on a colonized world, agree to help. So the plan is fight down to the engine bay, plant the charge, and get back to the Krayt Fang before shit gets all Michael Bay. They gear up and head out.

Krennel has the droids fan out ahead in the engineering access hallway, and it’s a good thing he does because a pack of infected ambush them and wipe the droids out. The crew manages to gun them down in return. Inside the engine bay, everything is quiet. Krennel points to the hyperdrive console and also to their means of exit: a maintenance subroute that will lead them back to the junction in front of the commissary. He moves on to the console and starts to set the charge when one of the bulkheads come smashing in. A massive creature comes loping in the darkness, roaring and pissed off. He’s flanked by a few packs of the lesser monstrosities as well, and come barreling down the engine room with a vengeance. The Alpha sets on Krennel, who is the nearest to them and is viciously gored by huge claws, dropping the satchel that has the charge and the vial of antidote in it. The entire crew shits themselves in panic, except Adria who mans up and baseball slides after the bloody backpack. She makes it to the console with barely enough time to set the explosives before the Alpha turns to her and smashes her down. She lays knocked out next to the console, her arm visibly broken by the impact.

FN-1K organizes a counterattack, getting covering fire (or covering stabbing in Skooter’s case) while he rushes to the wounded Adria. He’s able to get her up on her feet, but has to limp her to the safety of the maintenance hatch. The rest of the crew is engaged in desperate close combat with the swarm of infected, with Jeffren taking a particularly deep slash as the disease pours into him. The crew rallies and manages a fighting escape into the maintenance subroute behind Adria & FN-1K. Mercifully the passage is too small for the Alpha to fit in, but it doesn’t give up on it’s prey so quickly and rages off to find an alternate route. His minions however follow close behind, giving chase and harassing them all the way. Skooter is able to slam down the door in Medbay with Bradrus and Jeffren covering him blasting anything that moves. This effort buying them precious time to patch Adria up, but it’s obvious the door is going to give soon so they have to keep moving.

In the commissary the fiends catch up again, tackling Bradrus and pumping the virus into him with a deep gouge. Precious little time is left before the detonation, and as they see the airlock they hear the deep rumble of the charge destroying the hyperdrive manifolds. Scrambling for the door, they crowd into the Fang and slam the hatch shut. Even with the ship in its death throes the ravenous infected can be heard slamming themselves against the airlock trying to get in as Jeffren straps in and recklessly disembarks from the Sarastino. Gunning the Fang at full speed as the Sarastino engine drives go critical, fire washes over everything but only doing minor damage as they peel away from the blast radius. All that’s left of the Sarastino is vaporized wreckage drifting in space.

With a moment to breathe, FN-1K administers the solution Krennel picked off the ISB agents to Bradrus and Jeffren, hoping to Space Christ it’s the cure they were guessing it was. He then sets Adria’s broken arm and patches Skooter up as the Chiss was covered with cuts and bruises from going hand-to-hand with the monsters of the Sarastino. Barely escaping with little more than their lives, they can at least rest knowing they saved untold billions from a hideous fate.
With this sobering thought in their minds, Juice shuffles in munching on a snack. A small bandage is fresh on his forehead. He looks over the grim crew and raises an eyebrow.

“So…wha’d I miss?”

Mistaken Identity

Adria Montoya
Jeffren “Chico” Froe
Juice Dookdroppa
Prata’ri Rackus
Skooter Heetshooter

Having arrived at the moon of Nar Shaddaa, Adria receives a message from the caretaker of Utri Me’Lya, a Bothan who fled to the Smuggler’s Moon from her homeworld of Bothawui. The voice begs Adria to hurry to Utri in the Refugee Sector, as she is very ill and hasn’t much time left.

Meanwhile, Jeffren also gets a message from his boss at CPN letting him know that all the folks back home on Corellia are enjoying the story he sent back about the person-hunting on Rodia, and they’re thrilled to know that a fellow Corellian helped to shut it down. The boss tells Jeffren he wants him to follow up on the story—and interview the Corellian responsible. “But boss,” Jeffren begins, “it was actually m—”. The boss interrupts and tells Jeffren that he’s heard the Corellian responsible is in the Corellian sector of Nar Shaddaa, hanging out at a bar called The Burning Deck, and he wants Jeffren to track him down and get more of the story from him.

Ultimately, The Krayt Fang is cleared for landing on the moon, and they are joined by Prata’ri Rackus in his newly acquired fighter, the Blade’s Edge. Rackus has no problem landing and heading into the spaceport; the crew of the Krayt Fang isn’t so lucky. As soon as they land, they are met by an arms dealer and his gang of Aqualish thugs. The arms dealer, Mat’tel Kenner, fires a warning shot at the ship’s entrance ramp and demands to meet with…Twerx? Wait, didn’t we kill that g—oh right. Anyway, Juice steps off and talks with Mat’tel. He explains that Twerx is no longer the owner of this ship, or a functioning pair of lungs. Kenner is angry because Twerx never fully paid for this ship, and it doesn’t appear that the new crew is going to be able to cover the diference.

He does, however, need a problem that needs dealing with, and offers to overlook the crew’s suddenly-acquired debt if they’ll assist him. He explains that Toyb, a brilliant Sullustan mechanic in the old Duros Sector, has a droid of his that he was supposed to fix before it was sold. The problem is that Toyb is now refusing to return it, and the buyer is on his way. Kenner explains that if the crew of the Krayt Fang will go and talk Toyb into returning the droid, he will consider their debt paid and allow them to continue on their way. Juice, having no other option, agrees to the deal, and the group decides to split up, with Juice and Rackus heading to the old Duros Sector, Adria and FN-1K traveling to the Refugee Sector, and Jeffren and Skooter going to the Corellian sector to track down the Corellian imposter (and also drink, let’s not kid ourselves).

Juice and Rackus arrive in the old Duros Sector by speeder taxi, and find that the area seems mostly run-down and abandoned, with the exception of Toyb’s shop, which appears to be quite well maintained. They approach the front door, and when Toyb asks who they are and what they want, Juice explains that they’re there on behalf of Mat’tel Kenner. Toyb reacts defensively, telling the strangers to leave since he already told Kenner the deal was off. Juice, not satisfied, decides to have Rackus try to hack the intercom panel next to the door to open it. He’s not successful, but it’s clear Toyb is aware of their attempts, since across the street a door opens and 3 antiquated battle droids step out and make their way toward the two. Juice dispatches them quickly while Rackus keeps working on the door.
Once the droids are down, though, Toyb addresses them again, and offers to let them in so he doesn’t lose any more droids trying to drive them off. The pair agree to relinquish their weapons as they enter, and soon find themselves inside Toyb’s droid repair shop, with Toyb standing behind the counter in front of them and two security droids covering the door behind them. Toyb explains again that he will not return Mat’tel Kenner’s droid, and Juice asks why a protocol droid is worth so much trouble. Toyb reveals that what Kenner brought him is no protocol droid, but an assassin droid, and he could not, in good conscience, repair such a dangerous droid and then put it in the hands of someone who might use it to harm someone. Also, he removed the assassination protocols and wiped the droid’s memory and processor immediately after Kenner left,. so if he were to give it back, Kenner would obviously know what Toyb had done and would come after him anyway. After trying to work out some kind of solution to this, Juice offers to lure Mat’tel back to the shop and personally defend Toyb and his shop if there’s trouble.

Meanwhile, Adria and FN-1K head to the Refugee Sector to get in touch with Utri Me’Lya, a former resident of her home village. The caretaker who sent for Adria explains that Utri is very weak and doesn’t have much time left. FN-1K does what he can to ease Utri’s pain so that she is able to speak with Adria. She struggles to tell Adria what she remembers about her family’s disappearance, explaining that “Zuul” was what the Imperial Sergeant called the alleged Rebel sympathizer that Adria’s family has sheltered when he arrived. Furthermore, she said that this “Zuul” appeared to have been working with the Empire to have the village raided. Utri then went to to explain that she had tried to track down those responsible for the raid, but had foolishly tried to search for the names of Imperial personnel who had arrived at the spaceport, not realizing that information like that would have been altered or removed. She instructs Adria to return to her homeworld of Bothawui and search the spaceport records for the name of the ship that arrived on the day of the raid in order to try and track them down. Then, with her dying breath, she reveals the next step as a cryptic single word: “Fondor”.

Adria plans to return to the ship to ponder the meaning of this last word, and FN-1K decides to remain in the sector to treat the many ill residents. On her way back to the ship, Adria is attacked by a pair of desperate thugs, but manages to put them down with relative ease. Hey, weren’t there two other people involved in this story? Oh yeah…

Jeffren and Skooter arrive in the Corellian Sector and head towards The Burning Deck to track down the mysterious contact claiming responsibility for freeing prisoners on Rodia. Once inside, they notice someone on the far side of the building surrounded by what seem to be admirers. As they approach, he seems to notice them as well, and quickly takes off running through the cantina’s rear exit. Jeffren and Skooter follow him, but Jeffren trips over some trash cans and falls in the back alley. Skooter is unwilling to ditch his friend, so he gives up the chase and helps Jeffren to his feet, and they head back inside to ask questions about the mysterious stranger. The drunks who make up most of the crowd aren’t particularly helpful, so the two decide to leave and see if they can gather more information on the street. Halfway to another bar, they are attacked from above by someone with a blaster rifle. Skooter is hit and injured, but Jeffren manages to dodge the incoming shots and make his way up a ladder to the rooftop where the shooter is positioned. Once there, he discovers the culprit: Moxo Oonta, the Rodian behind the humanoid hunts on Rodia. He fires a few shots at Jeffren, but after Jeffren wounds him, Moxo takes off running. He leaps off the rooftop to another building, then another, all with Jeffren in pursuit. Jeffren can’t keep up, though, and Moxo manages to get away.

As Jeffren climbs down rom the top of the building, he runs into another familiar face. This time it’s Renn, the Corellian they met on Rodia. Renn expresses relief at having found Jeffren, and explains that he needs his help in escaping from Nar Shaddaa. According to Renn, Moxo turned on the other hunters when he discovered his prisoners had been released, believing that one or all of them had assisted in freeing them. Renn claimed that Moxo’s sister Plateena Oonta had helped him get to his ship and flee the planet, but Moxo tracked him down and had followed him here. Jeffren wasn’t sure what to think of the story, but when Skooter caught up with them, he immediately drew his knife and attacked Renn, pinning him to the wall. Renn remained perfectly calm, however, and casually told Skooter to lower his weapon, gesturing to his right, where Moxo stood with his blaster rifle fixed on Jeffren. Renn then introduced himself to Jeffren as Lieutenant Herkin and told him that they’d be merciful if Jeffren would lower his weapon and reveal the name and location of their ship. Jeffren complied, and Herkin told Moxo to go ahead and fire.

Jeffren quickly drew his holdout blaster and shot Moxo, allowing enough of a distraction for Skooter to make his move on Herkin. Unfortunately, Skooter’s injuries had slowed him, and he ended up punching the wall behind his target. Jeffren’s shot at Moxo had done plenty of damage, so when Herkin saw that Moxo was fleeing to a speeder bike, he decided to take off running as well. Skooter grabbed his knife and followed, but realized that his wounds would make fighting Herkin too risky, so he grudgingly gave up the chase and returned to Jeffren. They then got in touch with the rest of the crew, and planned their next move. Jeffren and Adria headed to the old Duros Sector to meet up with Juice and Rackus, while Skooter traveled to the Refugee Sector to get medical attention from FN-1K, who was still treating the impoverished residents there.

Jeffren and Adria both arrived at Toyb’s shop, and together with Juice and Rackus they made a plan. Jeffren and Adria each staked out firing positions in buildings across from the shop, Juice used the door of the shop as a barricade, and Rackus remained inside the shop with Toyb so that they could operate Toyb’s droids for defense. Once they were set up, Mat’tel arrived with some of his men: 2 pairs of Aqualish and Gamorrean thugs, as well as the person who was supposed to be buying the droid from Mat’tel when he got it back from Toyb.

Mat’tel wanted to know where the droid was, and Juice informed him that the deal was off and that he should just quit and leave Toyb alone. Mat’tel wasn’t having it, and neither was the buyer, so they immediately drew their weapons and went to work. Juice put down the Aqualish thugs with ease, along with Mat’tel, but the Gamorreans closed in and LAID DOWN A BEATING. Unfortunately, neither Adria nor Jeffren were able to stop them as they wailed on Juice with their vibro-axes. However, Toyb’s security droids showed up and stun-blasted the Gamorreans into submission. The only person left was the droid buyer, who gave up when he saw that he was outnumbered. He revealed that his name was Gil Kilaeon, and claimed he was trying to purchase an assassin droid for security purposes. Jeffren thought this sounded plausible, so they agreed to let Kilaeon go as long as he promised to leave Toyb alone. Toyb thanked the group profusely for their assistance, and the crew returned to the spaceport to meet up with Skooter and FN-1K.

Once everyone was gathered at the spaceport, they remembered that Mat’tel had ordered docking clamps to be attached to their ship, so they needed to find a way to get spaceport security to remove them. The spaceport security officer was unwilling to hear them out without talking to Mat’tel Kenner first, so FN-1K went droid crazy and fired a shot into the air. This obviously freaked out the others in the security area, and they drew their weapons and proceeded to defend themselves. Eventually, only the Comm Operator was left standing, and rather than risk ending up a corpse (or a cripple like the security officer), he removed the docking clamps to let the Krayt Fang take off. All in all, it was a fairly productive Sunday.


I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.